My feelings about getting my Menstruation after Four Months of Nothing

 

If you don't like to hear or read about female bodily functions, please do not read the following. Just know there was a lot of pain, and maybe check out another post instead. 

_______A LOT OF FEMALE INFORMATION_________

I have quite a lot of health complications, and yesterday was really good and really bad all at the same time. 

the good part was, after four months I finally started menstruating, again! The bad part is well, of course, the pain. Severe hot flashes, perspiring from every pore in my body, mood swings like a fucking pendulum, hunger cravings, body aches, and a wonderfully painful migraine. The whole day I tried to work and could barely see straight, let alone type or draw anything. 

So yay! I have my period, but uuurrrggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I have my period.................. I really hate it when it comes in like this. And now I'm also worried because the last time it disappeared for four months, then came back, it came back for two months straight, and then I had to see a gynecologist again to make it stop. T_T 

Things like this are some of the reasons why I wonder why I am here on this earth, you know? Why does everything hurt so much. It's like it's bad enough that I have bipolar, which means that I have to spend a lot of money on pills to keep me sane...now I have to spend even more money to keep the pain at bay and to keep my body from breaking down.

So yeah. I feel really depressed right now. I just... I don't know guys. I just feel like, sometimes, my mind and body don't want to be here. If not for like, drawing these comics, I really don't know, what to look forward to sometimes. 

That's why I feel really bad when I miss a day. I feel like I sorta failed at living, cause I don't seem to be doing much good at everything else as it is. 

Hahah...ok sorry, got a lil deep there.