What is Aidadaism and how has is become Fuel To My Lofi
Hi! My name is AiAi a.k.a. Fuel to my Lofi and I am an indie illustrator and comic book artist.
I create art that draws inspiration from the anime that I grew up watching, a lot of nostalgia from 90s pop culture as well as urban legends about cryptids and liminal spaces.
By buying from my store, each purchase goes towards supporting me as an artist, and for special select pieces, a charity that I have chosen to give back to!
+Aidadaism Vs Fuel To My Lofi:+
When I started working on my art in 2015 I wanted to define the difference between me as an artist and my art as a body of work. Although I was so young at the time, it helped to give my art practice a name, as it took off the pressure from my consciousness that "AiAi" is taking a while to work on and instead "Aidadaism" is taking a while to work on.
Aidadaism is basically me combining my name "Ai" with the well-known art movement "dadaism" where my art is focusing more on the nonsensical aspect of dadaism. My work never really felt like it had a direction, but despite that at 15, I still wanted to have a voice and create meaning behind it, so there were touches here and there of meaning, but it was always lost in translation, even to me, with my variations of styles, mixed media and storylines.
Going to Art School at 18 confused me even more about the art world, and where my place was in it, and when I finally graduated I ended up rejecting everything I had learnt, in order to prioritise, well, capitalism, making money, feeding myself and my family, as I have never been able to get a job as an artist.
When I managed to start jugging part-time jobs with part-time art creation I really started putting all of my focus in creating art that would sell as I got heavily criticized for not making any sales and basically not being a success. I tried to get a job as a graphic designer but I felt I was losing more and more of myself, trying to create art that people would buy.
I eventually gave up on working as a graphic designer and tried teaching but that was too painful as I felt like I was not good enough as an artist to guide the next generation. I became very depressed over my situation and started working odd jobs in call centres and F&B until I eventually did a year-long stint as a food delivery person.
When I wasn't working part-time, I was struggling to keep drawing every day. Someone once told me that an artist truly hasn't made it until they have created 10 000 pieces, and honestly, I don't know how to count that far into the future, but I just kept drawing hoping that I would eventually create something good.
It was hard to create a schedule for myself as I really wasn't earning any money from my art for a long time, and yet I kept drawing and drawing. Eventually, I watched some entrepreneurs talk about how they manage their time and that helped me to create a work environment for myself to keep me on task and creating, despite how poorly my art performed.
I also brought back and started labelling everything "Aidadaism" as to me, "Aidadaism" stopped meaning "nonsensical art" and started meaning Ai ( myself ) is a work in progress that needs to be worked on every day. By creating this verbal form of separation, it helped me push myself to keep working on "Aidadaism"as I felt at the heart of it, Aidadaism to me, was me telling myself to *just draw until you make something good* not because I wanted to but because I felt that I wasn't good enough and I was dissatisfied with my art.
When I first created my Artist Shop on Threadless, I chose to name everything under the blanket turn "Aidadaism" as well, everything I posted up there was my "body of work" and therefore the label fit.
On the other hand, Fuel To My Lofi began as the label of separation I created to categorise my video and photography work that I started for fun on Youtube. I really felt *fueled* - inspired every time I learned about and explored different aesthetics, and being able to sit down and talk about them via reviewing TikTok videos or Tumblr posts, just made me happy.
The more I dived into these fashion and artistic expressions, I discovered a level above *just draw until you make something good* and found that I had a real passion for Weirdcore, Mushroomcore and Goblincore and many other aesthetics that I learn about over the last few months ( writing this as of Dec 2022 ).
After coming to terms with the fact that I am truly in love with aesthetics, I really wanted to express my love for these aesthetics through my art. The beauty of a lot of the videos and photography that I looked at was that the creator behind them was always trying to convey or tell a story of some kind, whether it was their own life experience or a fictional world where a fictional character was going through some kind of trail, journey or revelation.
That made me decide to use the one skill that I have, the skill of patience, to incorporate my art into my desire, and that is where Fuel To My Lofi - the body of work was born.
After working in this new direction, I stopped feeling like I was suffering for my art, and I was finally creating things that I just loved. To date, I am inspired, and thriving in a new way. Sure, I am still not a success in terms of society or family expectations and I am not earning a lot from my art, but my attitude towards my art and my mindset has changed. I feel that through the lense of Fuel To My Lofi, I have truly discovered what fuels my LoFi( LoFi *to me* being my creation process, the slow, retro style or working with technology to create something new ).
I am still a work in progress through, and there is always going to be a lot of nonsense that I create along side true meaning, which is why I still have my username as @Aidadaism , and you will probably still find my art on sale in different places under the name @Aidadaism, however, the blanket name for all things now, is Fuel To My Lofi, because that, is at the heart of how I feel about my creative process now - the fuel to my passion for creation, as well as my passion for life.
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